Whenever I feel something intensely, I have found my best path for release is through poetry.
Following are three poems written about the 9/11 tragedy. The first expresses my feelings on
the day it happened, the second was written two months later, and the third was written for
the one year anniversary of the event that shook our lives to the core. My whole life was
changed forever, just picked up, twisted 180 degrees, and slammed back down, with no way
to return to what I’d always known. I believe this holds true for all of us who were alive and
old enough to realize what had just happened, and I’m not trying to say my experience was
any worse or better than anyone else’s. These are just my thoughts as time progressed.
MY HOME
My home is a beautiful, wonderous place
With mountains and rivers and trees full of grace
The sky just seems bluer, the sun warms my face.
My home. The U.S.of A.
The morning was busy, just like any other
The sun was ablaze, the sea birds on hover
The people were working, some shopping with mother
While others just walked. One more day.
The TV was droning the news of the day
The market was steady, the skies weren't grey
The man on the news butted in. What'd he say?
A plane in New York - What'd he say?
The screen showed a picture of smoke, fire, fear
The words that he spoke were of airplanes-not here!
I saw the big plane heading straight for the tower
Oh God! Dear God! Look away!
But looking away wasn't possible. No
I had to keep looking, to see, even tho
I knew that it had to be some kind of joke.
A movie scene. Yeah, that was it.
I watched as the buildings that had stood so tall
Burned brighter and trembled and started to fall
I knew this was real. I wanted to scream.
I wanted this to be a dream.
In a flash, in a crash, in a horrible scene
My home was attacked, right there on the screen
My homeland, my country,the one that I love
Was raped and assaulted by thugs.
Then when I accepted that this was all true
That man came back on, there was something new
Now they had struck at the heart of my land
Where else would they go? This cannot stand!
We waited for hours, to see if some other
hate-filled sick coward would blow up another
of our many treasures or more of our brothers
But no more came. God, help us now.
Never again will I open my eyes on the world
I have known since my birth. I silently thanked
God my Dad had not lived to see this day.
I wish I hadn't, either.
I will never again feel safe in my home.
My beautiful, blessed home.
Home of the brave, land of the free.
SUNDOWN
I watch the sunlight streaming in the window
and wonder if there will ever be another day like
I remember.
The sun is bright and warm, but not like then.
Then, the brightness was almost a feeling,
Like touching it, and being touched back by it.
Sometimes it hit my face like a warm slap.
And sometimes it felt like a gentle stroke, so soft.
Now, it's just there. Just warm. Just...sun.
I look out on my world and wonder where it went.
And then I know: It left on the day our innocence died.
It just got up and walked away, or maybe it was
blown away, the force of the blows just so hard it
couldn't stay to see the destruction caused by those
whose own lives are constructed from anger, pain,
greed, cowardice, and an allegiance to their supposed God.
Some God!
Oh, Dear God, where are you now? Don't let him win.
The pain is overwhelming, so horrifically hard to bear
That I only want to quit now. No more. Please.
I pray that I am sleeping, some pickle-induced nightmare
Carrying me with it, unrelenting in it's insistence
that I see,
That I watch, with growing horror, the scene
spread out
Before me, like some poisonous, maggot-infested feast
Laid before jackals. My stomach rolls, leaps, tries
To escape, all the while knowing it is destined
To stay, to watch.
I don't want to see this sun again. I can't.
To continue to witness it's eternal rising
and falling
Seems somehow cruel, sacrilegious, tiresome,
wrong. I want to go back to when the sun saw
us happy,
Living our lives with promise,
worrying about insignificant things.
Not death, or plague, or men who could
be so cruel.
But I can't. The road only goes one way,
and I am stuck here, watching.
I'm tired now, God. I want to stop now.
Please. Let me get off. Please.
PEACE NOW!
A year has passed
Since our peace ended.
A year of fear,
Of war, hope blended,
Mixed with anger,
Hatred, sorrow,
Wondering about tomorrow.
Will we feel the pain again?
The loss of family and friends?
Will we ever live content,
Or sleep in peace, so confident
That this will never come again,
This fear, the never knowing when
The hate will strike our home once more,
The pain come rushing in our door?
The tears, the pride, the love, the grief,
The sorrow, praying for relief.
Dear God, will all this ever pass
And will we see it closed at last?
I pray that day is drawing near,
When we’ll have peace instead of fear.
